I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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