he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
