Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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