I'm so fucking centered right now
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
