I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
