he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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