okay pat passed out under dana's car
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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