We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
