His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
The ass gains better be worth it
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