batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
