God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
