'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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