His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We are two peas in an std pod
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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