The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
In America we eat man semen.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
