bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
areolas are like halos for boobs.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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