can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
