I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Life is so much better after having sex.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
