it's too hot outside to masturbate.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Bring me that man meat
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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