its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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