I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
