you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
