You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
