Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
