he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
