The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
