We won't sleep together?
ugly people sure do ruin things
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
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