Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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