I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
