We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
