i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
