They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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