you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
