Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
