how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
