whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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