why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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