my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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