I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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