At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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