these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
