Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
