I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
