My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
