is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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