We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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