Pappa wants mamma naked
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
