Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
