i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
