Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
