Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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