Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
