i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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