Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Drunk is not a location!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
